Caliburnus

A Mother’s Dream

Vivian Rees never thought she’d be the mother of a child with special needs, let alone one with autism. But that was who she became when her young boy, Jesse, was born with it. Her little family’s collective world revolved around his needs, and her drive, her every waking moment, centered around helping him, on sparing him pain, on somehow finding a solution to fix it.

But there was no miracle cure. “Go home and grieve,” the psychologist said to her and Grant about their two-year-old. The official diagnosis slammed in their faces like a death sentence, she and Grant fought hard to navigate through life with slow steps forward and countless steps back. All she wanted was to make a connection. To bring them together. To forge a real bond.

And one summer day, on the shores of Pelican Lake in Minnesota, a curious gift appeared.

What would happen now?


Although this novelette is a work of fiction, it was inspired by my life as a special needs mom. My son’s diagnosis—or the “A word”—is spoken in hushed tones in our house, as well as the impetus and anxiety to share that part of my life with my readers. But here it is.

My other fiction is fun and meant to give readers a respite from anxiety. I’ve reveled in the luxury of those fantasies and find the escape into writing a significant blessing. My scathing blog is also cathartic, too.! 🙂

But it all stems from who I am and my journey as a mother. The chronic grief of having a child with special needs has left its impression on my soul. And I, like parents everywhere, share a rollercoaster of emotions as I work through my life with the hopeful prayer that I am doing my best.

If only, are words that haunt me. My beautiful son and I will forever travel together and my love, if not my magical ability to cure him, will remain true.

I hope you enjoy this very personal work.

Annabelle