I Need A Tim Gunn App

Tim Gunn, where are you? I need you to make an app. It’s the middle of the night and I can’t sleep and I began thinking seriously about getting the app I previously wrote about called Calm. (See blog entitled, It’s a Dunderstorm). Among other things on Calm, soothing stories are read by actors with pleasing, appealing voices like Matthew McConaughey.

But Tim Gunn could provide more than a bedtime story, (although he’d be great at that too). I’m fantasizing about Tim giving me a daily affirmation. Maybe as my alarm clock.

“Good morning, Annabelle.”

Oh, God, can you hear it? I’ve got goosebumps thinking how wonderful it would be to hear his voice say that.

Ahem.

“Good morning, Annabelle. I afraid it’s time to rise. But don’t fret, there’s a veritable cornucopia of opportunities for enjoyment awaiting you.”

Maybe his voice could be activated when I press the remote to make the window blinds rise.

“Salutations, Annabelle. As you can see, daylight is upon us. It’s time to rise. It may be difficult at first, but sensational adventures await.”

Or I could ask Alexa to have Tim give me an affirmation.

“Be of good cheer as you go about your day. Remember, be kind to yourself, and as difficult as it can be for you, Annabelle, be kind to others too.”

Hmm. Maybe his voice could be paired when I pull out the coffeepot to pour my first cup of coffee.

“Greetings, Annabelle. Enjoy the invigorating aroma and flavorful notes of your coffee. Be mindful of the compendious moments as you go through your day.”

Tim’s positivism and vocabulary are delightful. I could have his voice connected to the long string of door chimes the dog nudges when she wants to go outside twenty times a day.

“Now, now, Annabelle. Remember, it’s not all about you. Make it work!”

How about in the laundry room?

“I predict moments of exhilarating reward when you and your family enrobe yourself with clean garments. They’ll forget to thank you, but don’t grumble, it’s simply dreadful for the digestive system.”

Okay Tim, how about when I’m flossing and the floss, wound around my fingers to keep from slipping cuts into them producing pain, aggravation, and makes me never want to do the difficult molars again.

“I concur. Certainly an unwelcome consequence. But I predict a congratulatory moment and a deep perspicacity of gratification in the dentist’s chair.”

What about now, when I can’t sleep?

Dear Annabelle. Lie your head on your pillow. Close your eyes and try not to worry. Your problems will be there in the morning, but with the proper determination and can-do attitude, you will prevail. Sleep now, dear one. Sleep.

I heart you, Tim Gunn. The world needs you.