Before you say, “Hey Annabelle, these are NOT real problems.”  I say, “Yeah, I get it. But shut up. Mama’s in a ranting mood.”

Apple TV

I had no intention of buying into another subscription service for streaming, we already have too many, but I was forced into purchasing a new iPhone and it came with a FREE one-year trial to Apple TV. So, I’m thinking, okay, let’s get it loaded and see what’s up. I could also (supposedly) share the subscription with several members of my family. (As of this writing, there has been no success on that front.)

 I knew The Morning Show was only (annoyingly) available on Apple TV, so that also incentivized me to download the app on my phone and get started.

Here’s the fun part. We can only watch one episode of The Morning Show per day and I have yet to discover how to watch previous episodes I missed. I’ve gone to the Google to seek help, but honestly, I’m freaking tired of all the learning curves! I’m freaking tired of the glitches and nonsense you have to go through to get something to work!

I tried to fix the issues, but after I certain point, I realized I was more vexed and irritated than happy about using the app trying to watch my very first show.

You’ve pissed me off, Apple TV. I will not be renewing when my free trial ends. Just because. Wait . . . You don’t have Turner Classic TV on your site for some weird reason, do you? Gawd, I refuse to investigate.

Comcast. Xfinity. Whatever. The Shameful Beat Goes on.

Hey Comcast, Xfinity, or whatever the heck you’re called today, I pay you a fortune every freaking month and have for years. Why did so many fun channels disappear? Why is your lineup so limited? Don’t tell me to upgrade and pay you more. I will not. I don’t know the name of the stupid plan I have—but it’s one of the premium ones.

I remember once I had to drive an unused cable box over to the Comcast store for return so I wouldn’t be charged for it every month. It was a dreary day, and lunch was waiting for me back at Manderley. And while I worried Mrs. Danvers would be cross, my darling Maxim had whispered such sweetings to me over breakfast that I felt my heart break free, and . . . Sorry—I flashed out for a minute. Trying to escape the real world.

Back to the story . . .

After waiting in line an indecent amount of time, almost saying screw it—I’d rather pay the $7/month forever than wait any longer, my number was called. But before they’d let me do the return, they insisted on going through an upsell spiel informing me that I could receive better and faster internet service if I got a different plan. My jaw dropped as I processed that and grew angry that Comcast had the ability to make my experience better—I’d just have to pay for it.

But hey, here’s the latest reason you again landed on a blog rant. After my father died, we had to cancel his services, credit cards, bank accounts, etcetera. Not a fun task during our terrible grief, but it had to be done. Upon calling Comcast/Xfinity to cancel, as part of their wrap-up and questions, they had the gall to ask me whether or not my poor dead dad had enjoyed his experience being an Xfinity customer. Are you kidding me with this? I hung up.

Also, see my previous blog… Comcast/Xfinity is in the Soul Sucking Business. Funny story there, I tried promoting that blog on Twitter, but they wouldn’t do it because of ‘inappropriate content’ or something. Read the blog to see if it has a dangerous or wildly inappropriate feel. Have you seen the crazy posts on Twitter? Hmmm, who owns who?

Wait—one more thing. Does anyone remember that scary actor who for a brief shining moment represented Comcast customer service in their commercials? They chose a dude who looks and sounds like he will kill you in his sleep. (No offense to the actor – I’d love to see you in something else). This guy was spouting on about the great customer service experience—which was laughable. Was this casting and the threatening aura of the ad a joke? Were the execs at Comcast laughing into the back of their hands when they approved it? Damn you again, Comcast. I can’t find the commercial. But I did find this YouTube of the same actor in an Apple Autos ad. Please contact me if you remember the commercial or can find it in internet land.

Candy Crush

If you’ve read my blog post – I’ve Got a Guilty Secret, Part 1 – then you’ll know I play games on my phone. I’ve tried a lot of games, but I’ve got three go-to’s: Toy Blast, Toon Blast, and Design Home.

I’d heard about Candy Crush for years but had never tried it. One day, probably when I found myself out of lives, cash, diamonds, and experiencing crushing anxiety that the world as we know it is going to end, I was trolling for something else to play and decided to pull the trigger on this popular game.

I understand there is a learning curve with these games, but Toy Blast and Toon Blast starts you slowly with immersive tutorials along the way so you can understand just what in the heck is going on. The arrogant little miss Candy Crush did not do this. But I ventured forward like a hero, playing the game and assuming there would be an intuitive juncture where I learned how to control it and win. That was true to an extent, but not really.

The text is super tiny. The crazy little girl character who pops up is like something from a fever dream with her spindly arms and Viking helmet. The prizes are not prizes, but only take you to the store so you can purchase more stuff with your hard-earned cash money.

You cannot control this game. For the most part, any strategy concept is not in place. What do the special items do? Why does my piggy bank with the bulging cheeks always say full, but when I try to use some of my “money” toward something, it says I don’t have money and links me to the store? I don’t want to do research for this app. There is a shame component for me if I do that!

And when I get to the inevitable crazy-making and eye-rolling-juncture with Candy Crush, I remind myself that the frustration with the experience is self-imposed. Apple TV is too. Comcast/Xfinity, I’m stuck with you, Bish. You’re so tightly bundled to our internet and home I’m afraid of dumping you. And I suppose that was intended. But someday . . .

Peacock – Free!

Yeah, I was excited about this new network and fell for the advertising. I went as far as setting up an account and downloading the app. But then I couldn’t figure it out, and finally realized that all the good content was not free, you gotta upgrade to the paid program. Bamboozled! You’re a wannabe Netflix and you conned me. I deleted the app. Nice try.

Spam Calls

We all get them. But has the frequency increased? I block the numbers as soon as they call, but it’s no deterrent. A super regular call I get is about the warranty on my car. “Hi, this is Katie. Your warranty is up. If you don’t pay us a million dollars your car will explode and you’ll die.”

The best calls come from the Social Security fraud scam. They start with threats that warrants have been issued for your arrest, blah blah blah. You know the drill. At any rate, whenever they call, I wait on the line for my big moment to be connected to a person. And then, well…. I say things to them— human to human— about where their soul may end up if they continue with their terrible deeds. I may use other words. It’s not a terribly satisfying moment for me, but if everyone did that, I wonder if the criminals would experience employment recruitment issues. I mean, who wants to go to work and be told they are going to hell for doing their job every day. (This may also be why Comcast went super automated and dialed back their live-human experience.)

Grammarly

It’s a site that checks spelling, grammar, and more. In my line of work, I really need a service like this. I used to have a subscription with another company where I paid $49/month, but they recently doubled their rates and I thought I’d try elsewhere. Grammarly is free—but they too have a premium package. Who the hell doesn’t? Maybe I should have one in my private life. “Yes, George, I could make lasagna for dinner, but that only comes with the premium package.”

The problem with the free subscription on Grammarly is that it holds back information. Misspelled words? Horrible, wonky sentences? They hint there are problems—but they won’t tell you what they are unless you pay them money!

Grammar ain’t free folks. How about this test. . . I tossed the following sentence through Grammarly.

Grammar cost monie. (Free Grammarly only flagged the word “monie” – no mention of any other issues! Thanks!)

Delta Airlines and Social Security

I’m lumping these folks together because I experienced similar problems with them. I needed a refund for an airline ticket for my father and couldn’t get it done (for various legitimate reasons) over the internet. Forced to the phone, the hold time was five hours. Yup! And it turned out I had to call three separate times.

I called Social Security seven times and was disconnected every single time during one, excruciatingly long six-hour period. The next day, I called again, was placed on a two-hour hold, and finally spoke with someone. Fun!

So the moral of the story is . . . you’re not alone folks. We’re all living in these times. Going off the grid never looked better.